Kids say the darndest things...
– You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit.
If you don’t hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
– There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.
– Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let people know they’re there.
– The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things, like when people forget to put the top on.
– Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.
* Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.
* Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.
* Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I have never been able to make out the numbers.
* When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.
* One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
* A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
* The future of “I give” is “I take.”
* The parts of speech are lungs and air.
* The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
* Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
* (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
* A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.
* The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
* A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.
* Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
– The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.
– The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
– We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
– A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
* One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
* To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.
* The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
* The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
* Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.
* The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
– Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
– The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
– In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
– Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
– In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.
– A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.