Silly Poems for Fun
MISS VERONICA BLAIR
Miss Veronica Blair had long, beautiful hair,
but Veronica hated shampooing it.
She wanted no more of the tedious chore,
so one day she simply stopped doing it.
She piled it instead on the top of her head
back away from her face and her ears,
used a can of hair spray to secure it that way,
and forgot all about it for years.
Well, that did the trick; it got hard like a brick.
She could not hold her head up with ease.
Nor was she aware that the spray in her hair
would be quite so attractive to bees.
They thought it was nectar and came to inspect her.
And soon they were building a hive.
Their numbers increased and grew to at least
three hundred and seventy-five.
They were busy in there, deep inside of her hair.
It must have felt terribly funny.
But bees never rest, as you’ve probably guessed,
and soon she was dripping with honey.
All sticky and sweet she looked tempting to eat
and was gobbled right up by a bear.
She wouldn’t be dead if she’d shampooed her head.
Good-bye Miss Veronica Blair.
By Linda J. Knaus
THE PROPER WAY TO EAT
The way to eat your lunch meat
is to roll it into tubes.
The way to eat your Jell-O
is to jiggle all the cubes.
The way to eat your Swiss cheese
is to nibble it like mice.
The way to eat your water
is to chew the chunks of ice.
The way to eat your doughnut
is to try to save the hole.
The way to eat your ice cream
is to overfill the bowl.
The way to eat your pudding
is to suck it through a straw.
The way to eat your peanuts
is to store them in your jaw.
The way to eat your apple
is to munch it like a hog.
The way to eat your spinach
is to feed it to your dog.
The way to eat your noodles
is in one unending slurp.
The way to end your meal
is with a record-breaking BURP.
By John Frank